just breathe

Today calls for gentleness. I am knitting and reading, baking bread and making soup, being present for myself and my family, and taking the time to nurture myself. Just breathe...

my word for 2014

This is the third year I have chosen a word to guide me. 2012 was stability. 2013 was create. For 2014, the words healing and joy were ones I was seriously considering. I wanted to heal- emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I wanted to experience the joy that is all around me, but that I fail to recognize.

These words were ones I wanted, but they just didn't quite feel like the one. I looked up both words in the thesaurus, but nothing was right, and I tried to listen to what I was really wanting to focus on and bring into my life. Then, I read a quote by David Whyte on Facebook. It changed everything, although at the time I was just stunned. It read, "The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears."

I sat with that quote for a few weeks. I found myself repeating it over and over to myself. The word vitality encompassed all that I wanted but it was so scary! Vitality. It seemed so big, so scary, so perfect, so intimidating, and so very, very right. It still seems all of that, and yet…it is my word for 2014.

The last few months I have been headed towards this. I feel like I have been waking up, noticing the beauty and the life that is all around me. I have been trying to remain in the present, to say "yes" to each moment. I am working on healing the old wounds I have allowed to hold me in the past. I am recognizing the joy around me and purposefully looking for it. I am appreciating Mother Earth and all the gifts Nature has for us. I am reclaiming my spirituality and finding my truth. I am practicing self-care and making myself a priority. I am seeing the world through my camera lens and writing again.

Vitality.

I have let a million fears keep me from living, from being present, from vitality. I am releasing those fears. They hold no power over me unless I allow it.

Vitality.

I am claiming vitality for myself this year.

my today is

An early morning dentist appointment for Jack-
an hour and a half away.
A long drive through the canyon.
A banana and a Red Bull for breakfast.
Stopping to pick up lunch and eating it in the car.
All five children falling asleep again, on the drive home.
Time spent in quiet reflection.
Awe and gratitude for Mother Earth.
Home.

releasing

I named you;
wrote you all down
on a perfectly square piece of paper.

I bundled you up
with a white sage leaf
and a few elder berries.

I cast you into the flames
and watched as the fire destroyed you.
I released you and your power over me.

I release my fears and claim vitality.

by the dark of the moon

New Moon magic abounds tonight.
Unravelling.
Believing.
Healing.
The darkness blankets me
and gives me a warm, fertile place to dream my dreams
into reality.

my today is

A long drive to my sister's house for a family Christmas party.
Cousins.
Good food.
Ecstatic children.
A long drive home through the canyon.
All five children (15 months-16 years) falling asleep on the drive home.
A rare hour of silence.
Snow on red rock.
Frozen river.
Juniper.
Pinion pine.
Spruce.
Scrub oak.
Sage brush.
Tumble weed.
Sheep.
Crows.
Horses.
Llamas.
Bliss.

my intention

School Prayer

In the name of the daybreak

and the eyelids of morning

and the wayfaring moon

and the night when it departs,

I swear I will not dishonor

my soul with hatred,

but offer myself humbly

as a guardian of nature,

as a healer of misery,

as a messenger of wonder,

as an architect of peace.

In the name of the sun and its mirrors

and the day that embraces it

and the cloud veils drawn over it

and the uttermost night

and the male and the female

and the plants bursting with seed

and the crowning seasons

of the firefly and the apple,

I will honor all life

—wherever and in whatever form

it may dwell—on Earth my home,

and in the mansions of the stars.

~ Diane Ackerman