Tuesday, May 20, 2014

wild country


Wild country, Mountain Lion country. I feel such a sense of belonging in these dry wilds. I get a sense of knowing when I am wandering the land. It feels old, and wise, and I truly believe some of the wisdom is imparted to those that are willing to take the time to listen and learn. I bow in gratitude and respect. Aho.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

earth baby


Aspen is a true Earth Baby. We can hardly keep her inside, or out of the dirt. This sweet, sweet girl of mine has a deep and pure love for our Mama Earth. She is happiest when she has her hands in the soil. Toddler tantrums are quickly abandoned once she can connect with the Earth and taking her outside and letting her play in the dirt is our go-to diversionary tactic around here. Aspen reminds me I am calmed and grounded when I have my hands in the Earth too.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

just breathe


It has been a rough week. The baby has had a double ear infection and she has been miserable. Poor little thing has been in pain and not sleeping and all she wants is me to hold her and nurse her. This means mama was not sleeping either and is touched out. Baby is finally well, but I am frazzled. Being the mama means putting their needs above my own and usually I am happy to do that. Right now though, I am worn out and my emotions are threatening to overwhelm me.
Today calls for exquisite self-care. I have smudged, lit candles, and the kettle is on. I am going to spend some time writing and then take myself and the littles out on a photo walk. And breathe, always breathe...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

earth day

Mother Earth,

I give thanks today for
your beauty and bounty.
I give thanks for the nurturing
and the life you have given me.

I ask your forgiveness
for my carelessness
and the disrespect I have sometimes
shown you.

I pray I do better.
I pray I pay more attention.
I pray I always see the magic
you hold and the glory
of all your creations.

I walk barefoot upon you,
I stand in your cold rivers,
I plunge my hands into your soil,
I feel your warmth on my skin,
I feel your rain and wind
upon my face.

I bow in gratitude today for
your wisdom and strength.
Teach me your ways.
Teach me to be wild and wise.

Thank you for the peace
you bring to my soul.
Thank you for the rest you
give my heart.

Aho, and so it is.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

shadow

I have been quiet here the last little while. I have been doing deep soul work, shadow work. Facing my demons, working through the things I have buried. It has been hard and bloody. There has been lots of tears and sweat, but I am stronger for this work. I have a lot of work to do still, and some days I just want to say forget this! I know how to exist in Shadow well. I know how to wallow and be scared and have anxiety attacks. Facing things is so much harder! I am learning what my Shadow is. Learning ways to befriend her and steer this ship. Light and Dark. They say shadows only exists in the light...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

my today is


Snow.
Copious amounts of hot tea.
Stories read with my children.
Soul work.
Homework.
Cabin fever.
Homemade bread and soup for dinner.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Old One

John and I went hiking last week. We meandered around, looking at animal tracks, marveling at the twisted juniper trees, and catching glimpses of a couple of deer.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

i am light



This gorgeous video brought me to tears this morning. This is truth, for me and for you. I am light. You are light.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

soul-poetry

Fluent
by John O'Donohue

I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding.

Friday, January 17, 2014

sacred places

I sit here, cradled in the rock
and wonder who has rested here before me.
How many people have dreamed
and wept and seen the beauty of
nature and God from this spot?
In deep gratitude, I breathe.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

yarn along




Yarn Along with Ginny.
I just finished the first sock and am about to cast on for the second. These are for me! I seldom knit for myself, and I love hand knit wool socks. This book has me alternating between tears, nodding my head in agreement, and feeling Wild Woman stirring deep within. 


Monday, January 13, 2014

soul-poetry



Curandera*
by Pat Mora

They think she lives alone
on the edge of town in a two-room house
where she moved after her husband died
at thirty-five of a gunshot wound 
in the bed of another woman. The curandera
and the house have aged together to the rhythm 
of the desert.

She wakes early, lights candles before
her sacred statues, brews tea of yerbabuena**.
She moves down her porch steps, rubs
cool morning sand into her hands, into her arms.
Like a large black bird, she feeds on 
the desert, gathering herbs for her basket.

Her days are slow, days of grinding
dried snake powder, of crushing
wild bees to mix with white wine.
And the townspeople come, hoping
to be touched by her ointments
her hands, her prayers, her eyes.
She listens to their stories, and she listens 
to the desert, always, to the desert.

By sunset she is tired. The wind
strokes the strands of long gray hair,
the smell of drying plants drifts
into her blood, the sun seeps
into her bones. She dozes
on her back porch. Rocking, rocking.

At night she cooks chopped cactus
and brews more tea. She brushes a layer
of sand from her bed, sand which covers
the table, stove, floor. She blows
the statues clean, the candles out.
Before sleeping, she listens to the message
of the owl and the coyote. She closes her eyes
and breathes with the mice and snakes
and wind.

* a curandera is a healer
** peppermint

Sunday, January 12, 2014

my today is


Sunshine and snow flurries.
Hot herbal tea and cake for breakfast.
Knitting.
Sweet baby snuggles.
Bread dough rising.
Playing cards with my children.
Laundry.
Reading.
Quiet.
Hibernating…

Thursday, January 9, 2014

just breathe


Today calls for gentleness. I am knitting and reading, baking bread and making soup, being present for myself and my family, and taking the time to nurture myself. Just breathe...

Saturday, January 4, 2014

my word for 2014




This is the third year I have chosen a word to guide me. 2012 was stability. 2013 was create. For 2014, the words healing and joy were ones I was seriously considering. I wanted to heal- emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I wanted to experience the joy that is all around me, but that I fail to recognize.

These words were ones I wanted, but they just didn't quite feel like the one. I looked up both words in the thesaurus, but nothing was right, and I tried to listen to what I was really wanting to focus on and bring into my life. Then, I read a quote by David Whyte on Facebook. It changed everything, although at the time I was just stunned. It read, "The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears."

I sat with that quote for a few weeks. I found myself repeating it over and over to myself. The word vitality encompassed all that I wanted but it was so scary! Vitality. It seemed so big, so scary, so perfect, so intimidating, and so very, very right. It still seems all of that, and yet…it is my word for 2014.

The last few months I have been headed towards this. I feel like I have been waking up, noticing the beauty and the life that is all around me. I have been trying to remain in the present, to say "yes" to each moment. I am working on healing the old wounds I have allowed to hold me in the past. I am recognizing the joy around me and purposefully looking for it. I am appreciating Mother Earth and all the gifts Nature has for us. I am reclaiming my spirituality and finding my truth. I am practicing self-care and making myself a priority. I am seeing the world through my camera lens and writing again.

Vitality.

I have let a million fears keep me from living, from being present, from vitality. I am releasing those fears. They hold no power over me unless I allow it.

Vitality.

I am claiming vitality for myself this year.

Friday, January 3, 2014

my today is



An early morning dentist appointment for Jack-
an hour and a half away.
A long drive through the canyon.
A banana and a Red Bull for breakfast.
Stopping to pick up lunch and eating it in the car.
All five children falling asleep again, on the drive home.
Time spent in quiet reflection.
Awe and gratitude for Mother Earth.
Home.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

releasing




I named you;
wrote you all down
on a perfectly square piece of paper.

I bundled you up
with a white sage leaf
and a few elder berries.

I cast you into the flames
and watched as the fire destroyed you.
I released you and your power over me.

I release my fears and claim vitality.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

by the dark of the moon


New Moon magic abounds tonight.
Unravelling.
Believing.
Healing.
The darkness blankets me
and gives me a warm, fertile place to dream my dreams
into reality.