wild country

Wild country, Mountain Lion country. I feel such a sense of belonging in these dry wilds. I get a sense of knowing when I am wandering the land. It feels old, and wise, and I truly believe some of the wisdom is imparted to those that are willing to take the time to listen and learn. I bow in gratitude and respect. Aho.

earth baby

Aspen is a true Earth Baby. We can hardly keep her inside, or out of the dirt. This sweet, sweet girl of mine has a deep and pure love for our Mama Earth. She is happiest when she has her hands in the soil. Toddler tantrums are quickly abandoned once she can connect with the Earth and taking her outside and letting her play in the dirt is our go-to diversionary tactic around here. Aspen reminds me I am calmed and grounded when I have my hands in the Earth too.

just breathe

It has been a rough week. The baby has had a double ear infection and she has been miserable. Poor little thing has been in pain and not sleeping and all she wants is me to hold her and nurse her. This means mama was not sleeping either and is touched out. Baby is finally well, but I am frazzled. Being the mama means putting their needs above my own and usually I am happy to do that. Right now though, I am worn out and my emotions are threatening to overwhelm me.
Today calls for exquisite self-care. I have smudged, lit candles, and the kettle is on. I am going to spend some time writing and then take myself and the littles out on a photo walk. And breathe, always breathe...

earth day

Mother Earth,

I give thanks today for
your beauty and bounty.
I give thanks for the nurturing
and the life you have given me.

I ask your forgiveness
for my carelessness
and the disrespect I have sometimes
shown you.

I pray I do better.
I pray I pay more attention.
I pray I always see the magic
you hold and the glory
of all your creations.

I walk barefoot upon you,
I stand in your cold rivers,
I plunge my hands into your soil,
I feel your warmth on my skin,
I feel your rain and wind
upon my face.

I bow in gratitude today for
your wisdom and strength.
Teach me your ways.
Teach me to be wild and wise.

Thank you for the peace
you bring to my soul.
Thank you for the rest you
give my heart.

Aho, and so it is.

shadow

I have been quiet here the last little while. I have been doing deep soul work, shadow work. Facing my demons, working through the things I have buried. It has been hard and bloody. There has been lots of tears and sweat, but I am stronger for this work. I have a lot of work to do still, and some days I just want to say forget this! I know how to exist in Shadow well. I know how to wallow and be scared and have anxiety attacks. Facing things is so much harder! I am learning what my Shadow is. Learning ways to befriend her and steer this ship. Light and Dark. They say shadows only exists in the light...

my today is

Snow.
Copious amounts of hot tea.
Stories read with my children.
Soul work.
Homework.
Cabin fever.
Homemade bread and soup for dinner.

Old One

John and I went hiking last week. We meandered around, looking at animal tracks, marveling at the twisted juniper trees, and catching glimpses of a couple of deer.